Bright lights

Bright lights. Bright bright lights.Signifying the begining of the tunnel. Enter my life.
The tunnel at the end of the light.. so bright, so dull

The light is bright
so is the sky
the sky has stars
the stars do twinke
so does the eye
winkle winkle

so bright the light
reflecting reflections
he, who has no plight
takes his fantasies to flight

the light! the bright!
sizzle burn hide
it's spasmodic infirmity
yearning for reality

the dentist- part 2(last)

Let's not even go there...

The Dentist - part 1

Clean marble tiles. plush couches. the stink of medicine.
I experienced none
of these when i first entered the dentist's chamber. My first visit to a dentist
presumably marking the begining of a long journey towards orbit chewing
gum like teeth.

I did know that a genetic teeth problem persists in my family. and i also
know now that i should have been more careful with my gums.but as the
dentist put it- "oh you're a 'little' late but no problem we'll have it fixed in no
time". so he poked around in my mouth a little, tch tched and finally
announced after what seemed like an eternity that i might not have a bone
in there..!! and my heart sagged further down into my stomach. and then he
said i might need a flap surgery.. what the fuck is that? my heart decided to
do a double flip right then. i think THAT is when i lost touch with reality and
tuned him out, tuned all of them out.

Then came the blood test, the clotting test and the x ray. the last blood test i
remember taking was five years ago when i was definitely of stronger
material. i didn't see the clotting test coming.The Man pricked my ear and
for the first five seconds i kept brushing his hand aside until he told me
what he was upto. the x ray was fun- after it got over.Me, being paranoid
personified when it comes to such things i thought the machine would crush
my head and it's radiations would ruin me forever! i departed from the
machine with no noticeable scratches on either of us.

I left the x ray with the almighty dentist with a heavy sigh and a heavier heart all the while thinking of the poem Roald Dahl wrote about the
crocodile and the dentist. only that i didn't feel upto eating the dentist or
letting him believe i was capable of that.

I await the results. Hoping that there won't be a lot of nicotine in my blood,
Hoping i won't have to go through with this. But knowing somehow that
there's no turning back now.
The appointment barely lasted twenty minutes but i know that the mention
of a dentist or even a slight hint of one will always leave a funny taste in
my mouth.

MUSIC

can you imagine life without music? hell no! oh i am not talking about the sweet melody that birds and animals supposedly make. but if music means that to you well then.. each one to his own.

whether it be metal, the blues, country, gazhals(yuck) or any other genre music is the FEEL GOOD factor. okay maybe not always. sometimes it leads one to the depth of depression(but never in the clutch of death other than in the case of Cobain) and sometimes it gives you the zest for life.
may it be tom petty rolling another joint or axel rose jumping about on stage in his underwear and screaming himself hoarse i experience 'the music high'.
(please note- rakhi nymphomaniac savant posing as superbimbo,moving to a tune and pretending to save the world doesn't count.)

so my first vote of worship goes to the beatles. all hail the pioneers of rock! and i would also like to thank(i hope this doesn't sound like a speech learnt by rote)Iron maiden amongst others who don't only dwell on sick love songs but bring to our attention things of national importance(not always maybe),things that make sense and should matter.then ofcourse there's the band(read man) who sold the world- metallica!when there's this then nothing else matters...

i believe music will lead to moksha. this doesn't apply to those of you who wank off to britney's pears. all you're going to get out of that is a head shave and rehab. and oh her promiscuousness!

music is culture.music is religion. music bares the soul.
there's not one year that goes by that i don't thank the aryans and their composition of our sam veda- this is where us indians got our first taste of music from. i'd be lying if i told you i've heard parts of it.

so our nation has now entered the age of commercial music. the great leap they say! aerosmith. maiden. pink floyd. bryan adams.they've all made their statements here(no pun intended)
heck parikrama and some shillong band are even aired on vh1! there might be a few more indian bands out there that i don't know of. and they're all here for a cause. THE cause.

so three cheers and a few bottoms up for muzika and all us music enthusiasts!

"heal the world.
make it a better place
for you and for me
and the entire human race."

FOREVER?

happiness is temporary
but so am i,
there is no forever
because even forever will die.

God

I met god yesterday. He told me he doesn't exist.

you die i laugh?

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.


Mel Brooks

A SAD FREEDOM - Nazim Hikmet

You sell the care of your eyes, the sight of your hands
You knead the dough of all earthly goods
Without ever tasting a single bite.
With your great freedom you slave for others
With the freedom of turning into Croesus
Those who make your mother weep
You are free.

From the moment you are born they climb on your head
Their lie-mills grind endlessly throughout your life
With your great freedom, your finger pressed to your temple, you think
With the freedom of conscience
You are free.

Your hanging head seems severed from your neck
Your arms are dropping at your sides
With your great freedom you roam around
With the freedom of the jobless
You are free.

You love your country as your dearest friend
Some day they sell it, perhaps to America,
And you too, with your great freedom.
With the freedom of becoming an air base
You are free.

Wall Street grabs at your throat - their hands be cursed -
Some day they send you to Korea perhaps.
With your great freedom you fill a grave...
With the freedom of becoming the unknown soldier
You are free.

I must live, not as a mere tool, a number, a means,
I must live like a man, you say
With your great freedom they fasten your handcuffs
With the freedom to be jeered, to be jailed, or even to be hanged
You are free

No iron curtain, no wooden curtain, no lace curtain in your life
No need for you to choose freedom
You are free.

This freedom is a sad thing under the stars.

True!

DOUBT EVERYTHING

-Karl marx

THE BRIDGE

The bridge in the cantonement area between mel's house and ann's place is the perfect place to be. it's better known as only 'the bridge' by it's frequent visitors.not so frequent anymore.it's a seemingly hidden passage that leads to.. nowhere?? i never bothered finding out what lies at the other side. the way to the bridge used to be camouflaged with shrubs,bushes and thorns(always a pain) and if you're not looking for it chances are that you won't find it. but once you do,you'll think you're blind or just plain stupid for not spotting it on your own right away(that goes for me atleast)

Steep rickety steps lead to the start of the bridge and from there it's pretty easy to find my spot,bang in the centre just above the flowing sabarmati.sit still and dangle your feet in the empty space beneath.

There might be a million stories to be told about it but only a handful intertwine with my existence.many have lost their 'chappals' to the river.some friends their credit cards and other important(always important) documents and a few,their girlfriends.oh did i mention sushant almost got pulled into the quicksand around the bridge? it's an ideal place to fulfill your romantic notions-the beggining of the end or the end of the beginning.

But for me,it was none of these. just somewhere where i can retire for a while if i got lucky because it's pretty isolated out there.i learnt. i learnt that moss,rain water and unreliable footwear is a highly dangerous combination!i've fallen but fortunately never in the river.i realized that hitting my head on the rocks below definitely wouldn't be the best way to die.and also that sitting on the edge,wedged between the pillars can't kill you but a gentle shove can!

So, above the river Sabarmati i sat and didn't weep.and i don't mean to pull a paulo coelho!

Now,the entrance to the bridge has been cleared.no more is it hidden by wild bushes and all so the place has lost a little bit of it's appeal already.no more do i feel the magic of the place-the water, the stars, the sun and me.the bridge is a faint memory becoming fainter.and one fine day i guess it will entirely fade away.sigh..is it really true that good things end so better can begin?

one step at a time

one step at a time
only to find you've stepped on a mine!
bits and pieces blown away
i told you so! you'll have to pay.

waking up with a scream
was that a nightmare? or just a dream?
sweat beads rolling down my face
of familiarity,not a trace.

i don't know what i seek
but i do know that i'm not too weak.
condemn me as your thoughts shall lead!
my inner sanctum,on that you tread.

chocalate,chips,hors d'oeuvres
am i winning a losing war?
the rage within will subside
behind the walls,till then i hide.

if you play life like a game
you won't need anyone to blame.
the plastic life,the platinum might
don't waste your time
it's waay too trite!

RAIN rain come again. little vera want's to play

it was a cloudy day and so a mild shower of rain wasn't unexpected.But what we did get was a fullblown thunderstorm. the clouds started rolling in and then it started pouring.the electric lightening bolt divided the deep purple sky.the smell of the damp earth was very rejuvenating.
and for once i felt alive.it was when i least expected it.
i sat down in my balcony where the wind blew into my face.i sat down where i could get wet.
somewhere in the distance a few drums started beating and then it drowned in the cacophany of various other noises. man and beast alike, were enjoying a very mesmerizing experience here.i never though i'd actually ever like jaipur.until this.
i wish it would rain more often and unexpectedly.it keeps me going.
i might have been sitting alone in the balcony but i didn't feel alone.
i couldn't help but reminisce the wild rainy days spent with friends
nostalgia settled in and that moment was mine to savour.

wander

See if you relate to this.

all the thoughts in my head
are hanging on by a thread
imagination knows no bounds
in that,comfort i have found.

one hand sweeps it all away
the mighty mistress will only play
with hearts,with minds and with your soul,
leaving there a gaping hole!

i live,i die, i live again.
it's all getting pretty mundane.
all the memories locked inside,
waiting,waiting, time abides.

with a single gesture,kiss or frown
lo behold! it comes crashing down.
the loyal pain-at it it tore
am i meant for any more?

it's time to take life in your stride
and then you'll see, there will be pride
be your face
don't let yourself down
be the queen
and wear your crown!

world hold on

world hold on! it's a song which makes me start thinking everytime i listen to it.for some of us who lead the garfield life it's quite appropriate.there is so much to do and yet so little.
an insight into my (ahem)exiciting life-
1)wake up by 1 or 2 p.m(after a lot of yelling et al)
2)go places.
3)come back. surf the net.
4)read.eat.smoke.
5)and then go to sleep by 5 a.m